Posts tagged Christmas
As 2016 came to a much needed close, I had every intention of writing a blog post a day in 2017, akin to what I did in 2008, however this time they would be about my kids. Each post would feature something they did or said that amused or annoyed me as a way to chronicle their lives. Here I am writing this on January 4th, having already failed at this task. Instead, maybe I’ll try to do this every week to have a bit more of a flexible goal. I’d like to write more here because I greatly enjoy doing so and people seem to like it when I write about the weird and funny things my kids do, so I will continue to exploit them for my own personal gain. Speaking of which, be sure to check out our Loot Crate unboxing videos over at HorrorTalk.
So what have my kids been up to? Mainly it’s been playing with the variety of toys they got for Christmas. Oliver’s favorites include his blue lightsaber (although he’s also partial to his brother’s red one), which he’s been whipping open repeatedly. It’s only a matter of time before that flies out of his hands and breaks something. Who knows? Maybe it’ll go out a window after all. He’s also partial to the toy microphone that Monica’s parents got him. It records and plays back your voice, so he’s been saying “Poop” into it over and over again so he can hear himself say it. That’s my boy.
Parker has been somewhat indifferent to the toys, picking up things here or there to play with them when he feels like it. He takes cues from his brother, often following him around or grabbing a toy that Oliver has put down. This become problematic when Oliver realizes Parker has taken something he was recently playing with and demands it back. They’ll figure out how to share sooner or later, I guess. Or not at all and they’ll just continue fighting. He’s been obsessed with the book, Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See? lately. Our copy has these little windows that slide out to reveal the next animal. He’s been all over that book.
As mentioned on a recent episode of Raging Nerdon, Christmas is now all about my children. I don’t really need or want anything aside from maybe an Amazon gift card. Instead, I’m focused on my kids and what they want for the holiday. While Parker is still too young to ask for anything, Oliver is now at the age where he can create something resembling a wishlist. This is fortunate as we struggled for a bit as to what to get him this year. At one point I had him go through the Toys R Us book to pick out things that he wanted. This backfired because he went page by page, circling at least one thing on each one. After circling an Xbox One controller, I asked him what that was and he had no idea. He was just circling things that looked interesting.
There was one item that he asked for non-stop. Every time we asked Oliver what he wanted for Christmas, the one and only answer was a blue lightsaber. For months he’d roll up a piece of paper or pick up a stick and call it a lightsaber. I have no earthly idea how he became so obsessed with the Jedi weapon as the boy has never seen Star Wars or any of the spinoff TV shows. His knowledge probably comes from other kids at day care talking about it…or the Force is strong in this one.
I actually tried to show him Episode IV a few weeks back. He made it about forty minutes in before throwing in the towel. The entire time he was asking where Darth Vader was. He did pick up a working knowledge of most of the main characters, including Princess Leia, whom he brought to day care for show-and-tell for the letter L.
With the lightsaber a safe bet for a Christmas gift, I ordered him one from Amazon, along with a red one for Parker. I realize that I’m almost to the point where I’ll have to buy two of everything. That will probably come next year. The lightsabers arrived and we hid them away safely where the kids wouldn’t stumble upon them. Oliver even went to see Santa and told the big man himself that he wanted a blue lightsaber. Everything looked good.
Then, out of the blue, the color changed. After playing with one at Target, Oliver proclaimed that he now wanted a green lightsaber. This panicked me because I didn’t want a blow up or something on Christmas morning after I had already secured a blue one. I asked Oliver what he would do if he got a blue lightsaber, given that he told Santa that’s what he wanted. His reply? “I’ll throw it out a window.” That’s right. My kid does not mince words. He wanted a green one and that was that.
Fortunately, this green phase passed a week or two before Christmas. He frantically opened all his presents that morning except for the lightsaber. I had hid that one to save it for last. I wanted him and Parker to open them at the same time, but Parker was lagging behind in the present opening and Oliver was starting to mope a bit thinking he had opened everything and didn’t get a lightsaber. I took out the gift and he’s been swinging the thing around ever since. He’s basically popping the lightsaber open, collapsing it again, and then repeating the process over and over again. What’s the over / under of him losing his grip on it and sending it through the window after all?
Well, I turned around for a minute and suddenly five months have gone by on this little blog of mine and there’s nothing but cobwebs and a stack of WordPress updates waiting for me. In that span of time, Oliver has almost reached the two year old mark. I’m well past the time where I rattle off his age in months. I gave that up after 18 months. For a bit, he was “1.75 years old.” Now when people ask how old he is, I just say “He’ll be 2 in March.”
The kid’s vocabulary has been growing leaps and bounds. He seems to come out with new words every day, some of which I actually understand. It’s funny because Monica and I work as translators for him sometimes. My brother was over the other day and Oliver would say something that may sound like gibberish to someone else, but we understand what he’s trying to say from being with him all the time.
I’ve been trying to expose him to some good nerd stuff as of late. He loves the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and can correctly identify half of them (Raphael and Donatello. He still has trouble with Leonardo and Michelangelo.) He can say “turtles” but when he asks for it, it comes out as “hyung-ya.” I don’t know why. I will be impressed if that turns out to be “turtles” in Chinese or something. When corrected, he’ll repeat the word correctly. We’ve watched both the original cartoon and the new one on Nickelodean which is surprisingly good. He has also developed a new found appreciation for pizza as a result of the shows which I’m totally OK with.
In addition to this, Oliver has developed a fascination with the Incredible Hulk. I don’t know why, but he absolutely loves the big green guy. He’s had an Avengers sippie cup for ages but only recently seemed to notice the characters on it. He can identify most of the characters, but Hulk is the only one he can really name. (For the record, he can also correctly identify most of Batman’s rogues gallery.) This love for the Hulk spawned one of my favorite pictures of Oliver ever. Unbeknownst of this Hulk fascination, Monica’s aunt got him a few little Mr. Potato Head super heroes, one of which being Big Green. Check out the look on his face below. It’s pure and absolute joy.
Needless to say, I’m so friggin’ happy that he’s digging this kind of stuff. I’ve been able to share some of the things that I loved as a kid (and as an adult. Who am I kidding?) with him. I’m looking forward to digging through some of my old comics and other shows and movies on DVD to see how he takes them in. He already loves reading the “My First Batman Book” and “My First Superman Book” so I can’t wait to get him into actual comics. I just wish there was more of a selection when it came to kids funny books.
Yes, I’m writing a blog post about Christmas in the first week of July. That’s how far behind I am on this thing. Anyway, I started this here blog after being inspired by Kevin Smith’s My Boring Ass Life. If he could do it, why can’t I? So, for the year of 2008, I wrote up a post about what I did every single day. There were days in which nothing much happened aside from me getting up, eating breakfast, and watching some DVDs. Fortunately, 2008 was actually a pretty eventful year for me. I was laid off after the company I worked for went out of business. I was unemployed for about three weeks before starting a new job. A stranger sent me porn. Monica and I moved in together and then we got engaged. Not bad.
I was surprised to find that people actually read the thing. It was like a morning paper for some friends and family. They may not read every one, but if they caught it either here or on Facebook (where the blog began), they read it. At my high school reunion, I had a friend whom I hadn’t seen in close to ten years tell me that he knew all about my life for that span of time due to it. I think that’s both creepy and comforting.
After awhile, I got tired of doing this every day and wanted to write about specific events such as the story of my first Rubik’s Cube and the posts became fewer and less frequent. I thought a cool idea would be to compile all of 2008’s blog posts into one big file and print it up as a book. I started this project in my spare time but quickly forgot about it. The blog posts are all here and/or on Facebook so I could go back and read them if I ever wanted to. I just didn’t.
Then Christmas 2013 came. Monica and I don’t usually do big gifts for each other. I’d be happy with a box of Cracklin’ Oat Bran and an Amazon gift card from just about everybody. So, it was surprising when Monica presented me with a one of a kind, two volume set of my life in print form. She had painstakingly copied every single blog post, formatted it, and had it printed into two books (January – June and July – December). This is one of the many reasons why my wife is awesome and I love her dearly. She knew I would never do this myself and went ahead and did it for me. She had done something like this for me once before, early on in our relationship. She bought me an iPod, knowing that I wanted one but would most likely never buy it. I still have that and it still works. It has my name on the back and the words “Poop Marble” which I assure you, is not her pet name for me.
The books now stand proudly on a shelf in our living room, away from the copious amount of books that we have filling up shelves in the newly formed office / library downstairs (more on that later). They signify a slice of my life in which some important and some not so important things happened to me.
I wake up around 8 AM and it’s Christmas. Monica gets up and heads downstairs, but informs me that since I don’t really have any presents here that I can sleep in. Woo!
I rest for a little while before getting up and checking some stuff online. Having nothing else to do, I head downstairs to join Monica’s family. They were just sitting down to open presents. I grab a seat and hang out for a bit. Monica gives me another present. This one is a mug like that of a recent episode of The Office.
Yeah, that’s right. It’s a mug with my face on it, looking incredibly smarmy. So awesome. (more…)