Since Monica’s morning commute is longer than mine, the task of dropping off and picking up the children from day care falls to me.  I’ve got the routine down to a science aided in no small part by the television and the gate that locks the kids into the family room.  The second to last step in the process of getting them out the door in the morning is brushing their teeth.  By this point, I’ve already gotten them dressed, fed the cats, cleaned the litter box, gotten their bags together, packed my lunch, and brushed my own teeth.  It is at this time that I turn the TV off and usher them upstairs.  On Monday, we ran into a bit of an issue.

It started out normal, with Parker running upstairs and disappearing into the kitchen.  Oliver’s response to my request to go brush his teeth was to collapse on the floor.  I picked him up while he made angry faces at me.  He was playing and quickly broke and laughed as he made each subsequent face.  Once I got him to the living room, I put him down because he’s almost four and he can walk.  He collapsed once again.  

I took this opportunity to nab Parker and bring him upstairs.  On the way, I made sure to point out to Oliver that I would just brush Parker’s teeth first.  That got him moving, although not all that fast.  By the time he made it up to the bathroom, I had positioned Parker on the counter next to the sink.  Oliver insisted on opening the door to the bathroom and turning on the light even though those things were already done, so he shut the light off and closed the door.  Being that I’m petty and I sometimes do things to mess with my children, I turned the light back on before he could open the door.  Oliver saw this and turned it off again just so he can turn it on.  These are the kinds of things you get to deal with when you have children.

I was now getting Parker’s toothbrush ready.  Oliver was annoyed because Parker was sitting in his spot.  He climbed on his step stool positioned between the counter and the toilet, then the toilet, then tried to squeeze his way onto the counter next to Parker.  I told him that there was not enough room for both of them and that he should wait his turn.  This fell on deaf ears.  

I then started to brush Parker’s teeth by grabbing the kid in a sort of headlock so he’ll stay still enough for me to do the job.  While I’m doing this, Parker looks straight ahead into the mirror and in one fluid motion, pushes his brother clean off the counter.  It happened so fast.  One second Oliver was sitting there and the next he simply wasn’t.

It’s times like these that I’m faced with an internal struggle.  On the one hand, my son just fell and hurt himself.  He’s crying.  As his father, I should comfort him.  On the other hand, that was hilarious.  So now I have to make him feel better while holding back my laughter which is no easy task.  I did make sure to point out that if he just listened to me in the first place and waited his turn, he would not be in this predicament.

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