Yesterday my sister-in-law, Lindsay got married.  It was a great time and everyone enjoyed themselves.  We’re all very happy for her and my new brother-in-law, Kirk.  This post is not about that.  This post is about how I got bit the F up by bed bugs while staying at the Best Western near the Albany Airport the night before the wedding.

Now, there are many things in that last sentence that should have set off some alarm bells.  Best Western is a popular hotel chain, but they’re certainly not a glamorous place by any stretch of the imagination.  That, coupled with the close proximity of the airport doesn’t sound like a great combination.  It’s not like the place had hourly rates or anything.  It just had a slight skeevy feel to it.  Monica and I got a room with two beds to house us and the kids.  Parker was in a pack-n-play and Oliver had a bed to himself.  Everything started normal.

Partway through the night, Oliver woke up and wanted someone to lay with him.  Monica volunteered, leaving me in the other bed.  I then tossed and turned and generally had an awful night sleep.  At some point, perhaps around 1 or 2 AM, in my half awake stupor, I saw what I believe to be a small bug crawling along the edge of the sheet.  I try to squash it and say out loud “I sincerely hope that wasn’t what I thought it was.”

I managed to get some sleep regardless of this and the occasional screaming child.  I get out of bed in the morning and notice two red marks on my right side, around my waist line.  They looked a little like bug bites, but they didn’t really bother me.  I didn’t think much of them.

Fast forward a few hours.  We’re now at a different hotel, waiting for the wedding to begin.  I’m dressed in my suit and my right forearm is very itchy.  I’m starting to think this is really a bed bug situation.  Monica, Oliver, and Parker are completely fine.  Throughout the night, I notice other bites on my right hand and my left leg.  That was just the beginning.

After the wedding and reception ended, Monica and I retired upstairs.  While changing, I found at least a dozen bites over my right arm, both legs, back, and even one on my face.  The worst are two bites on my right forearm which have caused it to swell up to the point where I look like Popeye.  This is some crazy shit.

I look up bed bugs online and find that the bite patterns match up to my symptoms.  I’m both pissed and worried, especially since my arm looks so weird.  I picked up some Benadryl and cortizone cream in the morning which helped a little, but I’m still crazy itchy.  On the plus side, I get super strong when I eat spinach right now.  No other super powers have been discovered at the time of this writing.

Upon returning home, I called the Best Western.  They said they would “look into it.”  When I asked what that meant, the manager said that they have a professional they call in to check to make sure if there are bed bugs or not and they would call me back.  I’m not expecting a return phone call from them, but I’ll definitely be avoiding them in the future.  A quick search online found a review from a year ago that also referenced bed bugs.  Clean up your shit, BW.

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