I read this article the other day about an EB Games experience. (On a side note, I’m really digging Cracked.com. I used to read the magazine back in 4th grade, but haven’t looked at it since then. The site is pretty cool though.) I thought the post was funny, but I don’t have much experience with EB Games / GameStop. I used to stop in there every so often when they had used DVDs for cheap, but they’ve done away with those so my visits have become rather rare. I had a GameStop gift card though and I needed a classic controller for my Wii, so I figured I’d pick it up there. My first stop found that this particular location was sold out of the controllers, but fortunately we were going to the mall where they had them in stock.

That’s when I met this weird cashier. It’s been awhile since I’ve made a purchase at a GameStop, but their staff hasn’t changed in the slightest. They’re still incredibly awkward and socially inept, trying desperately to make conversation with anyone and everyone about video games all the while trying to convince people to buy game guides and warranties for video games. I actually feel sorry for them a little bit.

This guy was no different. He was basically a slightly younger version of Michael Showalter’s character from The Baxter. The guy in front of me was buying a game for his kid and this guy definitely just wanted to get the game and then get the hell out of the store. That didn’t stop ‘Ol Elliot Sherman from talking to him about his driver’s license of all things. “I see you grew your mustache out.” Seriously? That guy’s transaction finished up and then it was my turn to talk to this cashier.

I told him what I wanted and pointed out that the peg the item was on was locked, so I had to wait for him to pick it out for me. Then after he rings up the purchase and I’m basically paying for the controller, he goes “You know, we have used controllers for $5 less.” I tell him no thanks. I explain that I don’t know what kind of grubby hands were on them before. I’d like a new one, plus I’ve got this gift card. Used controllers sound like a disgusting idea. I grab my receipt and bid farewell to the greasy, thinning haired young man behind the counter as he makes small talk with a chubby guy with a neck beard and Zelda t-shirt about the temperature of the establishment. As a fellow awkward individual, I think I have a slight amount of pride that I’m above that guy in the weird geek hierarchy. Not by much, but it’s a step.

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