The Tale of the Troubled Toilet
I began this morning like every morning, by taking a piss. It happens. It’s just the first thing I do every morning. And just like every morning, I flushed the toilet…then the toilet kept flushing and flushing…and flushing. It was rather odd. See, our toilet doesn’t have a tank. I can’t really explain it. It’s an old building so I figure it’s an old toilet. There’s not like a chain to pull in order to flush it or anything. There’s a handle, but I can’t jiggle it, you know?
Anyway, I flushed the toilet and it made a weird noise so I pushed on the handle again and then it just kept going. The water wasn’t in danger of overflowing out of the toilet, but it was just strange. So it’s 6:30 in the morning and I’m still half asleep and now I’m standing in the bathroom staring at the shitter in complete confusion. What do I do now? Do I use the plunger? I just peed. There’s no poop or toilet paper in there clogging things up and it appears to be running smoothly. It’s just not stopping. It was like I was suddenly transported into a slapstick comedy and now I had to think of several hare-brained schemes to get the toilet to stop running.
Even though jiggling the handle doesn’t do anything, I tried it anyway. Of course, that didn’t work. I stared at the water for a little while which also didn’t do anything to stop it’s flow. Then I opened and closed the lid a few times thinking that maybe the sound was stopping. Then I gave up. Enough of this. It’s now spilling water anywhere and what else can I do really? So I went and watched some X-Files and by the time that was done, the toilet just stopped on it’s own. Maybe it was a heavy flow day or something, but it just got down with all the water and it hasn’t done that since.