Here’s the thing. Television and I used to have a really good relationship. Then she got greedy and I felt like she just didn’t care anymore. It was quite a disappointing breakup. We did however share custody on a few programs such as Lost and The Office. I detailed several reasons for the break up over at the now defunct Tubenation, but I’m going to pick it up here as I’ve discovered a few more. Goddamn.

For the past few weeks as the NASCAR Sprint Cup series was coming to a close for the 2008 season, I was rather annoyed to be subjected to these horrible commercials for Dish Network. Now I have no problem with Dish Network. They’re one of the sponsors of Carl Edwards and anyone that likes Carl Edwards is OK with me. Unfortunately, these commercials featured Frank Caliendo. I remember seeing a handful of commercials for a TV show featuring this so-called comedian, but I didn’t care for him then and I certainly don’t care for him now. You can find examples of Frank’s “work” here.

I don’t see how anyone can think that this guy is any good at his job. I’ve seen better impressions on dead people and stick figures. I think that the aforementioned clip is supposed to represent Jerry Seinfeld and Jason Alexander, but it’s probably the worst Seinfeld impression ever and there have been some really bad ones over the years. Other “impressions” that have turned up from Frank here have included what I can only guess are William Shatner, Robert De Niro, and George W. Bush.

Here’s the thing that I don’t think Frank realizes. He’s sort of a big fat guy. That’s nothing against big fat guys, but they’re not usually the ideal candidate to do impressions of non-big fat guys. They just come out looking pathetic and sad and I’m pretty sure that’s not the angle that Dish Network was going for with this ad campaign. Plus, he’s got this strange cube-shaped head that just doesn’t work unless he’s going to try to sell cheese or something.

I don’t know how this guy got a job to begin with, but he should be let go. I was all for Dish Network prior to these horrendous ads, but after seeing them over and over again, I want absolutely nothing to do with the satellite provider. Ugh. Frank is certainly no Jordan Yanco, I can tell you that much.

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